Torn
by Cullenator
Summary: Dimitri mind is completely torn. It seems as though he is loosing himself, and finding himself all at once. Blood Promise from Dimka's POV with a few twists of my own. I suck a summaries, sorry *looks sheepish*
1. Chapter 1

The scent was intoxicating.

I ran up to the tall moroi, she heard me only just before I grabbed her shoulder, she turned slowly, her expression full of fear and terror. How I enjoy feeding time. I made a jump for her neck. She put her hands up to her face, a survival response ingrained in humans and moroi alike. I always enjoyed that part, like they were trying to fight, but I was too good for them. I overpowered them quickly.

I bit into her neck, drinking in that sweet, sweet liquid. It was delicious, I drank for about a minute and a half, her limbs, which were thrashing wildly when I first began the feeding, grew stiller and stiller, and her pulse, which, due to the closeness, I could see and hear, grew much more feebler every more enjoyable I heard her breathing get shallower and shallower as her beating heart struggled to keep going. Finally, she let out a massive gust of air, and breathed no more.

How stupid that moroi girl had been, now thinking back, she deserved to die. Going out in this part of town at night. You didn't find many that were _that _stupid. I started to run back to Galina's estate. The run wouldn't tire me, but the monotony of the landscape would make this trip undoubtedly boring. I ran for about forty minutes before I got to the maze. The stupid maze, Galina and her theatrics made me sick (figuratively speaking) she prattled on about this and that, what chandeliers would look better in her office, which room she should put her next victim in.

As if any of that mattered. Just like that maze, everything she did was over the top, she did it to show off. To project her position as alpha over us younger strigoi. Yet, as young as I may be, I am still more powerful than she is, and a more worthy predator by far. She was nothing but prey. She was smart, I'd admit, how else could she have stayed at the top for this long? But I knew things about Galina that no one else knew. I knew how to get on her good side, and I knew all of her moves like they were my own, in fact, some of them were.

In another life, a much stupider and pointless one, she'd been my mentor. She'd taught me all I'd known, she had made me the guardian used to be. That was what I'd believed back then. But now I've been awakened, I know better. She taught me the basics, she provided me with the facilities to train, most importantly she provided me with a competitor. I'd fought against her countless times, and eventually I started winning. My talent and skill surpassed hers. I would kill her one day, I would take charge of the empire she'd built. Even though she'd be unhappy, her rules and beliefs should allow it. I was the predator, she was the prey.

When I finally arrived inside I went straight into Galina's office, to see what needed to be done. I strolled straight in as if I owned the place, which I soon would. Instead of walking in on her reading a book, which is what I'd come to expect, I walked in on her staring at Marlen as if she wanted to kill him. I understood _that_ thoroughly, Marlen was so pathetic I often wanted to kill him too.

"Ah Dimitri, just who we needed to see." she said, smiling with her fangs showing. "You'll never guess who Marlen ran into today." she said, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm and disgust. I studied him harder, and discovered, that apart from his natural air of_ I'm a pathetic idiot _he'd added some more features that made me want to cut his head off watch it burn to a cinder.

Like a set of long puckered scars on his face and neck. Judging by the smell of them, and how much they seemed to be hurting him, I'd bet they were made by a silver stake. Typical, The loser got beaten up by the guardians. I can't believe they didn't kill him. Even the guardians are less pathetic then Marlen. I smiled too, fangs and all, just hoping that Galina would kill him now, hell, I hoped she'd let me help. Killing Marlen would be more fun than that girl I had for dinner.

Instead, her expression of superiority changed to something expectant and full of anticipation. "go on you swine, tell him." her voice was saturated with resentment, and he looked at her with a look of such hate and fury I thought he was going to jump her. But as he thought a plan through quickly he sagged in defeat. As stupid as he was, he knew he'd never survive that fight. Pity, if he'd started it I could've killed him and told Galina I did it because I thought his lack of respect was so repugnant I didn't think he should be allowed to live. She'd take pleasure in that.

Instead, he simply turned his hate filled gaze to me,

"Rose Hathaway said she's looking for you." he said, his face, if possible, grew more loathsome at the mention of her name. Hmmmmm. Rose Hathaway, Rosemarie, Roza. I felt a small flicker in the back of my head. Like something had been ignited.

"Rose Hathaway, brown hair, brown eyes?" I asked, wanting to confirm.

"No you idiot, the other Rose Hathaway you know." Galina said, Sarcasm marring her usually brusque and forceful tone. I sent a cold glare in her direction and a smirk appeared on Marlen's face, did he want a skewer through his chest?

"I was merely making sure Galina, chances shouldn't be taken with her, she has skill." I said

"You think this dhampir poses a threat?" she asked, again with a sarcastic tone, I can tell you it's not appreciated.

"One like her does."

"And what would make you say that Dimitri, your love for the girl?" More sarcasm. More glaring

"No, I'm saying that because it is the truth, she was taught by me." I replied curtly, hoping to end the conversation. I didn't.

"And I taught you, therefore she poses no threat to me or my establishment, ergo, she is no concern to me, however, deal with her as you see fit." she said, clearly wanting that to be the final word, I happily complied, that last thing I wanted to talk about was Rosemarie Hathaway. It was giving me a headache. I left her office with one more glare at Marlen, pathetic, pathetic Marlen. You'd think the guardians wouldn't just leave Marlen alive. His survival seemed odd. But that part of this situation was hardly the most important.

As Dhampirs go, Rose was dangerous. She'd been abnormally skilled, and had a temper that could flare if anything, or anyone she loved was in danger. I'd loved her in another life, it had been pointless, love was just another stupid emotion that made everything unnecessarily difficult. It was just another weakness. Not worth the trouble. Not worth all the sacrifices. Not even worth the sex.

My head was hurting, it was like a pressure was building up in the back of my head. Not unheard of between young strigoi, the older vampires assumed it just had something to do with the remnants of the human/moroi tissue and blood in the unused parts of the brain building up or something. The dull pain came and went, and usually occurred when I was thinking hard about stuff. I decided I'd ignore it and keep thinking, Headaches are hardly problems when your very pissed off ex comes to town.

Rose got pissed off quite a bit and she'd often do things that were pointless and stupid without thinking them through, and she had to get her way with everything. Even worse, she was quick to love and protect people, it was her one main weakness. One that people had taken advantage of time and time again, she still didn't get the point. She'd always managed to get out of the consequences one way or another, but when it came to blame, she neglected the source. She refused to prevent the preventable.

Funnily enough, the thing that made Rose dangerous also threatened to destroy her ability to remain dangerous. She was shadow kissed, which meant she'd been brought back from the realm of the dead. She'd died in a car accident nearly 3 years ago, and her best friend Vasilisa Dragomir, the Dragomir princess, had used her weird spirit powers to bring her back from the dead without even realising it. As a result, a physic link had been forged between them, and Rose always knew what Lissa was feeling and was able to get into her head. Because of this, Rose had started sucking up all the bad side effects from Lissa's magic, AKA: her insanity. It was worthy of a crappy TV soap.

The pressure in my head was growing, hurting more, it was pissing me off. I had to stop thinking about it, it was all just too complicated for so late. I could see behind the dark tint of the large bay window in the lobby that the sun had started to peek it's head over the horizon. I headed up the stairs to my suite. Maybe I'd read my old western novel or something.

I walked into the room.

This room had different colours on every wall, sometimes black, sometimes white, sometimes different shades of red. A pretty cliché vampire colour scheme if you ask me, but Galina loved the show. There were parts of her in every room of this house, for example a stupid chandelier on the ceiling and the way that everything was just one piece. There were no joints in her furniture, no picture frames hung on the walls. Not even the TV was hanging on the wall, it was like it was just a natural part of the wall, just like the mirrors and shelves.

My thoughts were interrupted by one person approaching my door. It had a keypad lock, as well as a deadbolt. Meaning that leaving my door unlocked didn't leave it open to the world, just the people who knew the code. I hadn't locked the deadbolt when I'd closed the door behind me. Just then I heard a sound that gave away the identity of the person on the other side of the door. I ran to lock the deadbolt, but didn't quite reach it in time.

Nathan entered through the door as if he owned the place. His arrogant face was not one that was welcome in my room, as he was well aware.

"Dimitri, Dimitri" he mock sighed. "The love of your life has made contact, you must be simply thrilled by these turn of events." he said. He delivered it with a sarcastic voice, just as Galina had. I gave him the same treatment as I had with her, a cold glare.

"Nathan, do not tempt me." my voice menacing. He appeared indifferent to my reaction, but I saw his eyes flash, I couldn't tell whether it was fear or anger, probably a mixture of both.

"Don't you find her annoying though, first she wouldn't shut up in that battle, then she come running into Russia, killing our allies, and doesn't even do us the service of killing Marlen." he sighed, I had to agree, her behaviour was annoying.

"How many has she killed?" I asked, guardians killed our kind all the time, why Nathan would mention her kills was beyond me.

"Three, four if you count Marlen's pride." He snickered. Three? That was all?

"Only three? Why is that such a big deal?"

"Three today Dimitri." he said, a hint of amusement in his eyes, probably in response to my understanding, or lack thereof. But how could I be expected to understand that she would kill three in one night? It was unheard of. I didn't want Nathan to know I'd been caught by surprise, so instead, I said nothing.

"Some of the other worthless swine in this place are considering not going out tomorrow just because they fear her and her friends will be there." Friends? Had Vasilisa and the Ozera boy gone too?

"What friends?"

"She's hunting with a band of unpromised dhampirs." My head started hurting. Unpromised Dhampirs? Where had she found any of those?

"Were they Russian?"

"Marlen seems to think so."

"Anything else I need to know?" I asked, wondering if he was withholding any other vital information. If he was I - wait - vital? Was this information really vital? Why did I care about what she did? I should care about hunting her down, she would be fun prey to hunt. Perhaps I'd take a trip into Novosibirsk myself, have a little fun and adventure for a change. Sure she wouldn't taste as good as a moroi, but watching the life fade from her eyes would be satisfying.

Suddenly the small dull ache in my head doubled, and I felt as though there was something that was in my brain trying to claw It's way out. It hurt more than any of the other injuries that I'd received as a strigoi, that didn't really mean much, I'd only had one or two injuries. Oblivious to my distraction, Nathan answered my question, but considering how long he was talking for, I'd say he was likely giving me a lecture or something, about how it isn't any of my business, I honestly didn't give a shit about his opinion on the matter, and my sudden head ache had given me a shorter temper, and with every passing second Nathan spoke, it grew shorter and shorter.

"Nathan, leave." I said, my voice must have conveyed my sudden fit of bloodlust, because he smiled a sadistic smile and leaped of the chair he'd sat himself down on.

"You wanna dance boy?"

"Don't even try Nathan, if you don't pick your ass up and leave i'm going to pick it up and throw it out for you."

"I'd like to see you try Belikov." I could practically see my temper metre burst as I lunged. Going for his throat. He had pretty quick reflexes, and reacted quickly to my attack, but I was prepared, and I launched my second as he blocked my first one, sweeping his legs out from underneath him and pinning him to the ground. Before I could do anything else he started talking

"Galina won't appreciate you killing off her favourite." he said, his voice not really conveying any of the fear I could see in his eyes. "In fact she'll be very angry."

He was right, Nathan was one of her favourites, and he had served her well. But he was just such an irritating ass, surely she wouldn't mind _that_ much, I could take over all his jobs anyway. This would create instability with her, further my influence, give me more control. God, why hadn't I thought of this in the first place, it was such a perfect start to my plans. Or at least it sounded perfect

Until Galina walked in.

"What are you two doing?" she asked, her voice and expression apathetic.

"He jumped me." Nathan said to her quickly, just like he was a child in the 2nd grade. Pitiful.

"Dimitri, not in control of yourself, as usual, get of him." her voice grew harder as she said the last words, and for a moment, I imagined ripping her head off, sweet, sweet mental images, but, coming back into reality, I knew now wasn't the time. I wouldn't be able to control her estate with my current position, perhaps in a month's time, when I had served her more, and been promoted, I'd have enough influence to kill her and take all this over.

So I stood up and mustered up the most hate filled expression I could, and directed it straight at Nathan. He just stood up next to Galina and together, they walked out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**So i'm enjoying doing the whole writing thing, it is great fun, but i wouldn't say this is my best writing i've ever done. **

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Rose and her friends were on a roll for the next couple of days. Word had it that they killed about 4 more awakened beings. All of them would've been as pathetic as those first victims. Every night, more of my colleagues would come back and report to myself or Galina. Many other strigoi heard of Rose and her team, and decided they didn't want to go into Novosibirsk. Ridiculous. Everyone seemed to think I should be doing something about the unpromised guardians, just because Rose and I had a thing in another life. If they wanted something done, they should do it themselves. I had more important things to worry about.

Like the important business transaction going on. An important business transaction I had to carry out. It involved drugs, human drugs. And blood, moroi and strigoi. The humans paid a good price for it, and we delivered good results, as long as they kept it a secret from the other humans. I don't even think they knew what it was really, Galina had called it charmed blood. I had to deliver it to the humans, and collect the money. This meant only one thing.

Galina trusted me. Trusted me enough that I would get the job done, that I wouldn't kill the humans. It wouldn't be long now, I would introduce myself as someone very important, I would do the job correctly, I would force them to be loyal to me, and then, when the time came to kill Galina, they would remain loyal. It was all working out well. Mostly.

The headaches were getting much worse, or maybe that was wrong. More frequent would be more correct. They appeared every hour, almost without fail, they were annoying, and sometimes, when I was angry about the others trying to get me to do something about the problems in Novosibirsk or imagined ripping Rose's throat out, it would get 10 times wore, like my anger was so great it hurt my head. But I could handle all of that.

I left early on that day, I was due to meet the humans at 1:05am. I arrived punctual. I introduced myself not as the middle man, but as the person responsible of the blood, I told them I oversaw the whole process. Which in a way I did. I used a little compulsion, but I joked around with them in as easy a fashion as I could. And left them in a good way, knowing they now wished I would take over any further transactions. It went well.

On the drive back I passed a sign that pointed to Novosibirsk. The word triggered my many thoughts about Rose and the other Unpromised Dhampirs. Should I do something about them? I was so sick of everybody expecting it, why would they expect me to do it? I had nothing to gain personally, did I? So many questions, so many unanswered questions. Why did it bother them in the first place? What did they gain from the unpromised dhampirs being gone? Why couldn't they just do it themselves? They don't have the skill to do it themselves, I thought to myself. Then, several things snapped in to place, making everything make sense.

They only had one thing to gain. Loosing me. I'm a threat to them, all of them, and they want to get rid of me, but they are too cowardly to do it themselves. So they underestimate me, thinking I'll make the same mistakes as those others, they assume that if Rose can kill those others she will be able to kill me. I know she won't be able to though. Even if she doesn't hesitate, I have extra strength and ability now I've been awakened, and she found it difficult to beat me in the first place.

The headache starts again, not too bad, it is more just another thing to be angry about. Then suddenly, I am angry, half of my mind is ripping apart Nathan and Galina and Marlen and all those other Strigoi, whilst the other half is with Rose, carefully watching as I drain the blood from her body, feeling her life flow into mine, the sweetness of this image takes over, and then it is in the forefront of my mind, I imagine every little detail, every small and insignificant detail. I start planning strategy, and before I know it, I've taken the turn off to Novosibirsk. My head throbs painfully and I just can't seem to drive fast enough.

A thought pulls me up short. They know I'm a threat, perhaps they know of my plans? It couldn't be that hard to figure out, if our roles were reversed I'm sure I would've figured it out. This isn't much of a problem though, the only ones I'll have trouble with are Galina and maybe Nathan, I could take all of the others with my eyes closed and still walk out unscathed. But still, I must move quickly, the wheels have been set on motion. I may need to recruit someone to help me. But who? Nathan would be the best choice, but he is so insufferable my entire being shies away from the thought of it.

15 miles to Novosibirsk. Okay. I'll think of this on the way back when I have a full stomach, Surely once the whole Rose thing is dealt with I'll think more clearly. Inspiration strikes. Rose. She is the ultimate choice. She is the deadliest Dhampir I know, imagine what she will be able to do once she has been awakened.

BAM! Out of nowhere my head explodes. The car swerves and crashes into a tree, but that is the least of my problems. I feel like I'm losing my head, or finding it maybe? Everything is confusing and my world starts to spin. Rose, I can't do that to Rose. I'd rather she dies, she can't have the same fate as me, destined to be locked up in my own body, forced to look on at the evil that has taken over me take lives and plot world domination.

I breathe in, trying to find some control, but part of me fights it, part of me wants to stay in control. It is like there are two sides of my brain, fighting. Like darkness and light are battling inside me, trying to completely consume each other.

Suddenly feeling surface that I know I've had before, but it still feels foreign. Roza, I love Roza. That is all there is to it. Images come, flashing back to me, and the emotion they bring are literally out of their right mind, how can someone feel all of this without exploding? I'm flooded with the memories, they hurt, they fill me up, they complete me. Rose and I are lying in a cabin, not any cabin, but the cabin. The cabin we made love in. We're lying close together, skin to skin, it feels so good, and I can't believe that this girl is mine, she can't be, she is just too good. I'm stroking her hair, her back. Holding her tightly just praying I'll never have to let her go.

But of course, I have my duty. We have our duty, we have to get up and do our jobs, get on with our lives, all because they come first. I've said it to myself so many times, and usually I don't mind it, I want to spend my life protecting them. But by doing this I'm being forced away from my Roza. Being the people we are do get up, and we walk through the forest, together, hand in hand, toward the academy, the secrecy, the danger, the moroi. I can't help but wonder what would happen if we'd walked in the other direction. Would we have started a new life? Could we have gone back to Baia? Where we would be free from the talk of the judgemental Moroi. Could we have lived together peacefully? Happily?

I'll never know. Because now I'm trapped. Trapped behind red eyes, and a cold but beating heart that I no longer want to call my own.

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**Little bit of a cliff hanger, I know. What is going to happen to Dimitri, I don't think I'm even sure yet **

**What did you think? Tell me. I don't mind criticism, so go for it! : D **


	3. Chapter 3

**I know, people asked for me to continue, and you probably thought i'd abandoned the story. I haven't, but i've had exams on this week, and i've hardly had time to eat, let alone write. To make it up to you i will try to get another chapter up tomorrow, but I can't promise it will be done. Only 2 more exams to go though. So i'll be back to normal soon.**

**BTW thanks for the review ect**

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I gained control soon after that. I don't know what happened. It was like i was there, but i wasn't. I was very tired after the mental battle, unbearably so, but the appearance of what the unawakened vermin would call 'my conscience' made me decide what to do about Rose. Having her here, it drove me crazy. In the literal sense of the word.

Having said that. I don't think I could kill her. Sure, my skills are superior, but what a waste of talent. She'd be a useful ally, and with her sense of humour, maybe she would annoy Nathan. Scratch that, she will annoy Nathan to no end. Maybe i'll keep him around. _Deal with it as you see fit. _Galina had said that only a few days ago. _Well, Galina, This is the most fitting way i think anyone could've dealt with it. _Screw waiting. If i had Rose as an ally i'll easily be able to take everything over. If I change her sometime within the next two weeks I will be able to make the next transaction with the humans. Futher solidifying a relationship. If i went and got Rose now we could plan together, and she could hone her skills more thoroughly.

I glanced over at the car. Twisted around the trunk of a large tree. Apparently tonight wasn't going to be the night. I'd come back tomorrow. When I had a more information, a proper plan and a working car. Besides, my headache was getting worse. I best rest up. But would rest cure me?

I had this funny feeling, like change was coming. It was a welcome prospect to be sure, but my gut instinct told me It wouldn't be the way I imagined it. Unease settled over me and I tried to divert my thoughts down a more joyous path. Rose. Sinking my teeth into her neck, feeling her grow weak-

I Felt my control slipping, ever so slightly, like the wall I had put up between myself and the thing in my head had weakened, as if it's fighting and thrashing was doing some good.

I concentrated, trying to build the wall back up, but it was difficult. I knew I could explode at any moment, like I was holding a pin in a grenade, and if i shifted, even just slightly, i would lose my grip on everything.

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We set out early the next day. I took one other girl, I can't even remember her name. But I knew she could fight anything but authority, and that she had enough control not to eat Rose, or try too. We sat in the heavily tinted car, the tension between us growing as the tyres rolled over the road. We got to the building they were staying at just before sundown, unable to go outside we waited.

A couple of dhampirs came out of the building - including Rose - their clothing indicated that they were just going for a walk, but the look on their faces suggested they would, and could spring into battle at any moment, they literally breathed tension. Once they were out of sight we followed, able to follow the strong scent from inside the car.

Their walk wasn't long, but they were on edge the whole time, and the group kept looking at the sun like it was a lifeline. For them it would seem that way. They looked in disdain as the sun disappeared behind the mountain in the distance and doubled their pace, almost running.

They got to their destination, there was another Dhampir waiting for them out the front. They then turned around and walked back the way they came. They arrived at where they were staying and they all looked as though they were about to go inside, but then, Rose turned to the larger Dhampir and said something, he nodded and walked off, while Rose walked in the other direction. It seemed fate was on my side.

I felt my control slipping a little when I got out of the car and told the girl to back be up when I had knocked her out. I knew she'd know I was coming before I got there, but it would only give her a small advantage. And, given her nature, I was pretty sure she would hesitate. For a second a small part of me wished she wouldn't hesitate, that she would remember my lessons and stake me before I had the chance to attack. But it was a very faint and fleeting voice, very easy to ignore.

Rose was talking to a homeless women, a very crazy one by the looks of things, the old lady continued chatting away happily as though her and Rose had been friends for years, and I could see that Rose was slightly pre-occupied, then suddenly, she laughed, the old lady was turning around in circles singing some sort of song like a crazy person, and Rose was _laughing_. Typical. The voice in my head grew louder, but it was still a pretty pathetic attempt in comparison to yesterday's episode.

The women continued talking quickly, and i decided to get Rose now, with only the one old lady here, as opposed to 4 other guardians, that would just use unnecessary effort. I instructed the girl with me to come out with me, but stay invisible and only come if the others came outside. She ran off into the cover of the trees. I walked up to Rose, stopping just behind her.

The woman's face saw me, and immediatly she stopped talking, within the second Rose was facing my direction with the stake out. She was quick, but I saw her falter when she took in my appearance.

"No" she whispered, as if she believed that I wasn't there. She hesitated. Just like i'd expected. There was a part of me that was screaming. Telling Rose to remember her training and plunge that stake into my chest, along my ribs and through my heart, just like she'd practiced, but another part of me was amused, that she'd come all the way to Russia to kill me only to freeze. Her hand tensed around the stake, but her face remained in the same conflicted mask. I didn't bother move into a defensive position, If she did attack, i could defend myself in an instant.

The part of me that wouldn't shut up, was, for once, silent, but I could feel the ridiculous amount of emotions inside me. Hatred, thirst, hope, relief, disappointment, and worst of all ... Love. It was remembering all the little things about her, the way her hair glistened in the light, the way her lips curved, her perfectly straight nose, her all-knowing eyes, the way her neck felt under his lips.

I stopped listening, or tried to, and focused on the aim. Capture Rose.

"Roza," i said, adding a taunting, seductive edge to my voice "You forgot my first lesson: Don't Hesitate."

Without anything further, my hand lashed out and connected with her head. It knocked her out cold.

I could hear the crazy old lady running, or trying too. But then I heard my partner catch her. She picked her up and started to walk back to the car. Meanwhile I picked Rose up and stuck her in the back seat.

"What do you want me to do with her?" the girl asked

"Whatever you want" I replied, hinting. She got it, and without further ado, she sank her fangs into the old lady's neck. Then promtly withdrew.

"She tastes like shit" She said, I just laughed.

We were both getting in the car when another Dhampir came out of the building, he saw us and immediatly ran to attack us, his stake poised, I hit him in the head and got in the car. I couldn't be bothered for a fight. I sped down the dark road, my inner "conscience" screaming profanities at me all the way.

**So what did you think? **

**Review? Please? **


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I could give you all my reasons about why this is so late, but seriously, I don't have the time, energy, or computer space to do so. What's important is that it is here. And I really hope you like it, because it was hard to write. **

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I'd finished my Western Novel, so I decided that 5 hours ought to be enough time for Rose to wake up. I slowly made my way up to her room, listening that everyone was doing what they were supposed to. I reached her door to find that Nathan was there, with his little human buddy, even I had to feel sorry for him, he may be annoying, but she made him look like a downright saint. Her flirting was outrageous. Thankfully (for her) she shut up when I arrived.

"I see Galina told you of our arrangement."

"Yes, I'm just waiting for Marlen, he's out hunting."

"Has she tried to escape?"

"Yes, she has been around the entire room, probably trying to look for a weapon, or some way out. What a waste of time"

"Ah, well, at least she hasn't completely forgotten her training."

I pinned in the code for the first door.

And for some reason I stopped when I got to door two. It felt like a physical force literally made me stop in my tracks, my legs stopped moving. I took a deep breath and tried walking again, thankfully, my legs moved. Whatever.

I pinned in the code for the second door, not exactly sure what I should expect, Rose on the lounge? Rose on the ground? Rose at the window?

No, Rose charging at me with a chair. The legs hit my chest, and I pushed her back. How irritating. _If it irritates you then it will irritate Nathan._ I thought to myself.

She charged at me again, with less force than before, I was barely aware of the legs as they collided into my chest, instead, I grabbed the chair and flung it to the my side, it hit the wall, and I hoped it wouldn't make a hole in the wall.

She paused again, as though she was weighing her chances. I saw in her eyes she knew that her attack would be yet another lost cause. But she was also unable to stand here and surrender, so of course, she threw an efficient kick into my stomach, which I promptly block, she then tried to sock me in the jaw, I blocked that too.

By about her fourth or fifth offensive move I had to tell her to knock it off, as good as this "never back down" quality was, it was also annoying.

"Rose" I said, deflecting one of her kicks

"You're wasting time. Stop." I think the words had an effect on her, because her next attempt at a kick was half hearted. Then, without much warning at all, she turned and ran the few feet to the wall, where the DVD player was. She lifted it up, ripping the cords, making some sort of horrible battle cry. In any other circumstances, the battle cry would've been comical, but it wasn't, she was still fighting me, and I'd once told her about these noises, another lesson she'd forgotten.

With all her might, she threw the DVD played towards me, and I could tell that even though she was only Dhampir, she'd thrown that with a fair amount of force, it would hurt a little if it hit me. It didn't though, I caught it mid air and threw it to the ground, the force smashed it into pieces. I grabbed a hold of both her arms before she could launch _another_ failed attempt at incapacitating me.

"I'm not going to hurt you." I reasoned "Roza, please stop." I looked her straight in the eyes when I said this to her, not compulsion, that would damage my long term plan, but I set my expression into one of reason and coercion, it didn't work, her expression was one of bitchy defiance and a strong _love. _

Without any other real options she started to kick out with her legs, but without her body weight or balance, the movements were awkward and had no real force behind them, they were, therefore, useless. I'd thought that by pinning her arms, it would prevent her from launching anymore attacks, yet, in true Rose style, she was proving me wrong. I was never wrong. That was something she had to understand.

I flipped her around and pinned her up against the wall, _surely_ that would be enough for her to realize there was nothing she could do. She continued to try and thrash, but I had her pinned so hard she could hardly move, she might just need a little more convincing.

"Stop fighting me" I whispered in her ear, breathing down on her neck "I'm not going to hurt you"

She gave another shove, it did nothing, she was tired, maybe injured and fighting a lost cause, surely she realised this.

"You'll have to understand if I have a hard time believing that" She said, resignation was clear in her voice

"If I wanted you dead, you'd be dead" I said simply." Now, if you're going to keep fighting, I'll have to tie you up. If you stop, I'll let you stay unrestrained."

"Aren't you afraid I'll escape?"

"No." I spoke, my voice calm "I am not" I held her like that, pinned against the wall for almost a minute, and I could see her mind wiring.

"Okay." She finally replied, I heard the resignation in her tone, and felt it in her muscles, but could she be trusted? Yes she could. I released her from the wall, taking a step back. I looked at her up and down, still the same as I left her, great body, dark eyes,_ that brown hair._ Then I really did look, I felt my headache start up again, but its dull throbbing was overshadowed by another feeling, one that hurt so much I felt like I wanted to double over and cry. _Warmth._ It was all there, everything my former self had fallen in love with, all laid out for me to look at, but look at only.

"Why did you come here?" I asked, and for a fleeting second, I really wished she hadn't. But then, something inside her clicked, and out came her never-ending supply of bitchy defiance.

"Because you hit me on the head and dragged me here." Inside me, my _conscience_ cracked a smile, _Still my Roza_ he thought. On the outside, I remained impassive; I wouldn't show anymore unnecessary emotion in front of her.

"That is not what I mean, and you know it. Why are you _here?_"

"In Siberia? I came to find you" huh. Figures.

"I came here to get away from you" She looked at me like the notion was impossible.

"Why? Because I might kill you?" She asked, true curiosity in her voice. Her kill me? Now that is ridiculous.

"No, so we wouldn't be in _this _situation, but now we are, and the choice is inevitable" that had been one of the reasons I'd come back to my homeland. I'd wanted better hunting, and I knew Galina would get me far, and I had wanted to avoid a confrontation. But had there been more to it than that? Why had I wanted to avoid this so much? The voice inside answered before I could investigate any further, _I came to get away from her, to save her_ he thought, a hint of bitterness in his tone. My tone? I don't know.

"Well you can let me go if you want to avoid it." I thought about that. Could I? Should I? No, Roza would help me get what I wanted, that was the most important thing, the plan was the most important thing.

"Not possible anymore. Not after seeing you now..." I crossed the living room and sat on a chair and I studied her again, then suddenly, selfishly, I didn't want her to leave, I couldn't let her go, she was here. She was beautiful. She was alive.

"You're still as beautiful as I remember, Roza. Not that I should've expected anything different" I tilted my head to the side, to stud her more, she was still definitely beautiful. I imagined how beautiful she could be, her eyes a piercing red, standing out from her alabaster skin. _NO!!!!_ Part of me shouted. That was one thing that couldn't happen. She could not suffer the same fate as me. What? My conscience was awfully present today. To distract myself, I asked her another question. "You can sit down"

"I'm fine over here"

"Is there anything else you want?"

"For you to let me go?" The answer was so Rose. My conscience almost laughed.

"No, Roza. I meant do you need anything here? Different food? Books? Entertainment?" She gave me an incredulous look.

"You make it sound like some sort of luxury hotel!"

"It is, to a certain extent. I can speak to Galina, and she'll get you anything you wish."

"Galina?" I smiled, Galina had no idea what was coming for her.

"Galina is my old instructor, back from when I was in school."

"She's strigoi?"

"Yes. She was awakened several years ago, in a fight in Prague. She's relatively young for a strigoi, but she's risen in power. All of this is hers." I gestured around the room.

"And you live with her?" she asked, a tone of curiosity, and maybe I was imagining it, jealousy? I guess it wouldn't be the first time teacher and student had gotten together.

"I work for her. She was another reason I returned here when I was awakened. I knew she was Strigoi. I wanted her guidance."

"And you wanted to get away from me. That was the other reason, right?" I nodded, the last thing I needed was to start that particular chain of thought again.

"Where are we? We're far from Novosibirsk, right?" She was trying to get information from me, I was sure of it. I humoured her regardless

"Yes, Galina's estate is outside the city"

"How far?" I smiled even more.

"I know what you're doing, and I'm not going to give you that sort of information." That would be unwise.

"Then what _are_ you doing?" she demanded, her anger suddenly rearing. "Why are you holding me here? Kill me, or let me go. And if you're going to just lock me up and torture me with mind games or whatever, then I really would rather you kill me." Her delivery was passionate, slightly haughty, but I saw through it. Now she had her shields up, beneath that, I knew she didn't want to die.

"Brave words." I stood up and began pacing, just for something to do. "I almost believe you."

"They're true. I came here to kill you. And if I can't do that then I'd rather die." She said it with her usual defiant bravado. I didn't really have a reply.

"You failed, you know. On the street." I told her, no doubt she'd be kicking herself for it now, but in the long run, she would notice it as one of the best choices she ever made. _Or the worst_ my inner voice said.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out when I woke up here." She still had the same tone of voice as she did with everything else, but there was more desperation in it, as if she wished she was still in school, waking up in the clinic, like she cold just go back tomorrow and right the mistakes she made. She had always taken comfort in that. The fact that she could make mistakes. If something went wrong, on the rare occasion that she did make a mistake, she shook it off, telling herself that it would be okay, everyone else makes mistakes. She'd say it as though it were a justification for her actions.

Then suddenly, I was sick of it. Sick of all her attempts to overpower me. Sick of her attempts to pin point my motivation. Sick of her attempts of chivalry and defiance. Why would she do such things when there was an option on the table that would make her strong and powerful? I spun around toward her, quickly closing the distance between us.

"I'm a little disappointed. You're so good, Rose. So very, very good. You and your friends going around and taking down Strigoi caused quite a stir, you know. Some strigoi were even afraid."

"But not you?"

"When I heard it was you......hmm." I thought about it. Had I been afraid? No. "No, I was Curious. Wary. If anyone could've killed me, it would have been you. But like I said, you hesitated. It was your ultimate test of my lessons, and you failed." I expected a reaction, more kicking and screaming, but her face remained blank.

"I won't hesitate next time." She said. Sounding like a guardian. I almost smiled.

"There won't be a next time, and anyway, as disappointed as I am in you, I'm still glad to be alive of course." She looked at me as though I was dirty, like I'd said something so wrong and horrible.

"You aren't alive." She said through gritted teeth. "You're dead, unnatural. You told me a long time ago you'd rather die than be like this. That's why I'm going to kill you." I had once said that. And now she'd mentioned it, I was completely torn. Part of me, my _conscience_ no doubt, was glad she'd remembered, glad she was here to free me of this awful state, but also wishing someone else had come to do it. But another part of me, the smarter part, knew I hadn't known any better back then. Neither did she.

"You're only saying that because you don't know any better. I didn't either back then." I saw her face, her eyes widened slightly. Then, without warning, my arm was moving, my finger connecting with the side of her face, touching, no, _caressing_ her. She gasped so did I? It had caught me by surprise, because honestly, I don't even know how my hand got up there, but then, I felt her lean into my hand slightly, and I knew I had her, a few of the right words, and she's be strigoi by sunrise.

"Killing you. . . Well, it's not that simple," I made my voice drop slightly to speak the next words "There's a third option. I could awaken you."

**I know, cliffie. Given my teachers don't give me any homework tomorrow I should have the next chapter up, but then again, this could be one of those 'Famous last words' Situations. **

**Hate it? Love it? Want to abuse me for being so late? Can't say I blame you. Comment?**

**xxx **


	5. Chapter 5

**Two days **** I'm proud of myself.**

**Here is the next one, hope you like it.**

* * *

My words didn't have the desired effect, for a second, it looked as though she had stopped breathing completely, and her expression could only be described in one word. Terrified.

"No" she said, there was no elaboration, no clever or witty remarks, not even any annoying ones. Just one word. But then, she didn't know any better. The moroi society had made sure of that. From a child's first breath, there was _one lesson_ that was engrained in their minds. Strigoi are bad. Strigoi are unnatural. This, in one sense, was true. We were only bad according to the loser. The prey_. The people that matter_ the voice in my head said.

"You don't know what it's like. It's . . . Amazing. Transcendent. All your senses are alive; the world is more alive --" there weren't words to describe what it felt like when I was first awakened, it was like I was just discovering the wonders of the world. But better.

"Yeah, but you're _dead_" she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world_. She has a point_ said the horribly outspoken voice. 

"Am I?" I asked them both. Wanting to prove my point to _at least _one of them, I grabbed Rose's hand and placed it over my heart, her eyes widened.

"My heart beats. I'm breathing." I whispered.

"Yeah but. . ." She look downright desperate now, not wanting to believe that they had lied to her. It couldn't be easy, having your core beliefs changed. Even if they _were_ wrong. "It's not really being alive. It's, its dark magic reanimating you. It's an illusion of life." I could hear her heart racing, wanting so desperately for it to be true. _She's right_ said my conscience.

"It's better than life." I reached up to cup her face, to will her to see reason. I needed her. I needed her so I could get all of this. "It's like being a god, Rose. Strength. Speed. Able to perceive the world in ways you could never imagine. And . . . Immortality. We could be together forever." I knew she'd want that more than anything, the ability to be with the person she loved for eternity. So did I at one point. _Not like this, never like this_ my conscience said sadly. _How dare you use that against her you filthy creature! _My conscience started screaming profanities in every language it knew, though I was sure his tone overcome any sort of language barrier.

"No. . ." she said, in a whisper, looking as though she wanted to cry. "We can't be." I was sure a little more reasoning could do the trick.

"We could" I said, equally a soft as her as I trailed my fingers down her neck "I could do it quickly. There'd be no pain. It'd be done before you knew it." My fingers lingered on the artery. I could imagine what it would feel like to bite down on her soft flesh and drink the liquid, lapping it up. Then afterward, the satisfaction of taking Galina's enterprise for myself. Having Rose lay down at my feet as though I were a god. My daydreaming was interrupted by two things. One was _my conscience_ screaming at me, begging me not to do it, two was the sound of someone entering the key code on the pad outside the door. 

I turned and shoved Rose out of the way just as Nathan and his human gal pal walked through the door. He had his same arrogant look on his face, her head was bowed, as if she was frightened_. With good reason_ the voice in my head thought bitterly. He was interrupted by Nathan voice. Nathan's very loud voice.

"What the hell is going on here!" he shouted. My temper flared. And it was only through my

complete self control that I didn't hit him. I'd wait for him to hit me first.

"Nathan, it is none of your concern" My voice sounded like a glacier, I really hoped he would try and hit me.

"Will you just hurry up with whatever it is you are doing!"

"This has nothing to do with you." I replied.

"Are you kidding? She could lead us to the Dragomir girl! If we finish that line off, our names will be legendary. How long are you going to keep her?" I had more important things than the Dragomir girl. I'd get to her later, once I had all of this. The only thing Nathan was doing in here was pissing me off. And ruining my chances with Rose even more. She loved Lissa more than herself. Maybe more than me.

"Get out!" growled at him "And that is _not_ a request!" I added, before he could argue. It didn't really do much.

"She's valuable. If you're going to keep her around as some blood whore plaything at least share. Then, we'll get the information and finish her." I took a step forward before he could say anything else. Every second he spent in this room was damaging. And his utter obsession with trivial things such as eradicating families was infuriating. My head throbbed. According to my conscience, me threatening Rose was one thing, but Nathan threatening her? That was an entirely different matter. Then, before I knew it, it was the both of us speaking.

" Get out of here. If you lay a hand on her, I will destroy you. I will rip your head off with my bare hands and watch it burn in the sun." I was sure these words were menacing enough to get him to leave. But the bastard was in a persistent mood.

"Galina can't be allowing you to play house with this girl. Even you don't have that much favour." he said.

"Do not make me tell you to leave again. I'm not in a patient mood today." I was never in a patient mood when it came to Nathan. He ought to know that. I just stared at him. Surely the fury and hate in my eyes would burn a hole through his skull! He was the first to turn away.

"This isn't over" He snapped "I'm talking to Galina." Just like a kid in second grade. Telling his mommy. Pathetic. Thankfully, for him, he turned and walked out the door.

I turned to the human woman, Inna, I thought her name was, and asked her to put the tray down in Russian. She placed it on the table and lifted the lid. It was Rose's favourite food. Pepperoni Pizza and a Chocolate brownie. I actually thought it looked disgusting. But then again, I was comparing it to blood.

"Lunch" I explained when she didn't pick it up. "Not poisoned."

She looked at the tray as though it held an amazing gift, one she'd wanted her whole life, but then, she shook her head and looked me in the eye.

"I'm not going to eat." She said, her voice adopting a matter-of-fact tone. I raised my eyebrow.

"Do you want something else?" I asked.

"I don't want anything else" she said, looking at me levelly, "Because I'm not going to eat anything at all. If you aren't going to kill me then I'll do it myself."

"By starving to death?" I mocked. Amusing really, how she thought she would get away with that."I'll awaken you long before then."

"Why aren't you doing it now then?"

"Because I'd rather wait for you to be willing." She could only help me if her pride wasn't hurt.

"You're going to be waiting a long time."

I laughed out loud. Didn't she realise how easily I could persuade her. How easy it would be to make her see reason, it was, after all one of her weaknesses. Denying her loved ones something they wanted was nearly impossible for her.

"We'll see" She would see. She had too. If I wasn't able to awaken her, drink her blood....

Out of nowhere, I was leaning forward, tilting my head. I was kissing her. The memories came flooding back. The movements and feelings felt so familiar, so natural. But then unnatural at the same time. As though there was a barrier between us. I was kissing Roza, _my Roza. _She was here, and I was so, so glad.

A part of me knew that there was something wrong. Knew that this wasn't normal, I shouldn't be doing this. That I wasn't capable of these feelings. It was like a caged animal, thrashing behind that bars. And slowly, slowly, I could feel the bars were about to crack under the pressure.

Then suddenly, they did. I snapped back. My world was one big sensory overload, and the blood, oh god, the blood, it smelt so delicious! I could imagine it. I pulled back. Hoping that I would be able to maintain my cool. Honestly, I was horrified! Because it wasn't me that had been kissing Rose. It had been _him_.

She looked startled, and under any other circumstances, the face would've made me chuckle. But not today. Keeping a neutral expression was painstaking. I gestured to the human next to me.

"This is Inna." I said, trying hard not to appear anything but casual. "She works for Galina too and will check in on you. If you need anything, let her know. She doesn't speak much English, but she'll figure it out."

"Нам нужно выйти _(En-ahem En-oo-Zheh-en-oh Veigh-ye-tee)(We need to leave)_" She meekly agreed and her eyes returned to the floor as we made our way to the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I have things to do" like try to figure out a way to get rid of the stupid Dhampir still present in my mind. I thought bitterly ,"Besides, you need time to think."

"There is nothing to think about" she replied, forcing as much defiance into it as she could. I smiled, she was trying so hard. I heard her sigh as I closed the door.

* * *

**So thats it **** I hope you enjoyed it. **

**Please excuse the Russian. I used what I had, which was an online translator and my very limited knowledge of the Russian alphabet. **

**I'm going away this weekend. But I hope to have the next chapter posted here by this time next week.**

**xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Finally here, I know, i'm as excited as you are. This seemed to take me AGES AND AGES, but it's done now.**

**Can you believe it's been 60 days since i first published this story!**

**I should start putting a disclaimer on this!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire academy. That is Richelle Mead. She is amazing.**

It had been 5 hours. And every passing second was as agonizing as the last. My mind refused to stop reeling. And I was getting _another _headache, on top of my 'conscience' induced one. Every question that flew through my mind had thousands of different answers, most were insane and illogical, and I disregarded them quickly, but there were some that plagued my mind.

Like whether or not I was crazy. My mind told me no immediately, but was that just reflex? Self denial? And now that I'd explored what I truly hoped was every option, the answer was becoming unbearably clear.

Yes. I had to be crazy. With all of this evidence how couldn't I be? Something else was taking over my mind, something darker. Or lighter. I wasn't sure. I was no longer in complete control of my body, and I was experiencing feelings I'd hoped i'd never feel again.

Because through all of my questioning, there was only one question that had been fully answered. Why had I brought her here? At first I had thought it was to turn her strigoi. Which was true. But why did i want to turn her? I could choose anyone. Rose didn't have the best nature for turning strigoi. Nor was she the best fighter out there. I had millions of victims to choose from, yet I had chosen her.

The answer was simple. I loved her. I loved Roza. And now, if she didn't join me, eternity would not only be boring, but painful. The questions kept coming thick and fast, and I was getting tired of answering them, or _trying _ to. Thankfully, my conscience had quietened, letting me think through everything without disrupting me.

Even though he wasn't talking, I could still feel him there. I was aware of his presence, even the tone of his thoughts. It was constant. Like the humming of and air conditioning unit, or a computer. It reminded me of the way that Rose had described her bond with Lissa. I vaguely remembered her telling me, and before I was ready for it, a memory pulled me in, suffocating me.

* * *

We were running. It was an early morning practise, and the sun was still visible above the horizon, I saw her look up and smile towards the sun, enjoying the feeling of the rays on her face. Though she'd never told me, I knew she missed the sun. As if feeling my gaze, she turned towards me.

"What?" She asked self consciously, running her hand through her hair. Every time she did that I always compelled to run my hands through it too. Her hair, like the rest of her, was so beautiful that sometimes it hurt. I always vividly remembered it's soft texture, and the way it glinted in the dim light of my room_--. Stop_ I told myself. If I remembered that too much then I knew I'd be a goner. I'd loose control.

"Nothing, you don't seem to be tiring." I said, coming up with and explaination quickly, trying really hard not to look at her lips, instead, I opted to look at her hair again. I really was a glutton for punishment. It shined differently in this light. Brighter, fuller. It was breathtaking.

"Neither do you" she replied with a small smile on her face. Though underneath, I could see her trying to figure me out. I ignored it.

"How was your night with Lissa?" I asked. I knew she'd been excited about it.

"It was great. We watched Romeo and Juliet" She smiled again at the memory. Not that I understood what aspect Romeo and Juliet was worth smiling about.

"Did you cry?" I asked sarcastically, but with true curiosity, wanting to know whether she felt the same pull towards that movie as the rest of the female populas.

" Are you asking that because you want to know that your not the only one?" She shot back, equally as sarcastic. I didn't bother dignify her joke with a response, It hadn't really been that funny.

" A little," She sighed "But if Lissa wasn't such a softie for those sorts of movies I think I would've been fine." I gave her a questioning look, not quite sure what she meant.

"Lissa was so wrapped up in the movie, her emotions were all over the place, I accidently slipped into her head." Ah, that explained it, Rose always told me that when Lissa's emotions got too strong she would be pulled into her head. I could tell Rose never really liked it, in fact - and i'm not sure how i knew it was a fact - she hated that her personal experiences we blurred with Lissa's. I wondered what that would feel like.

"What's it like? The bond, how does it feel?" I asked, suddenly truly curious about what Rose went through every day. She sighed, as if she wasn't really sure how to explain the answer.

"Its like... I don't know, a hum? I can't think of the right way to explain it." She frowned to herself. Thinking very hard about it. " It's like there is this space in my head, that it sort of warmer than everywhere else, and it radiates out what she is feeling. And if she has something she needs to say to me, it just comes out of that space."

I couldn't really imagine what that was like.

"What's it like when her emotions are too strong?"

"It's like, that warm place, it takes over everything and engulfs it. Then I'm not in my own body anymore. I can feel everything she feels. I'm not me anymore. I'm her. Then when I finally do realise it, I'm a prisoner. I can't feel the warmth, so I have to look for it, but her emotions are so tangled up, I don't even know where to start." I hadn't realised that we had stopped running.

"That sounds horrible." I said quietly.

"It is, when it happens, I feel like I can't control myself. It's terrifying." She said, almost to herself. Then, suddenly, she popped back into reality, and gained some composure. She smiled, and laughed it off with some mediocre joke. I pretended to smile, but all I could think about was what she had said_ I feel like I can't control myself. It's terrifying_.

* * *

Now, I knew what Rose felt like. Because now I had a personal experience. Loosing control like that was terrifying. It made you sick, it made you tired, it made you _weak. _ I almost felt sorry for her. Then suddenly, I wasn't sure if it was me or _him. _

* * *

I went back to my room and picked up one of my Western Novels. It was one of my favourites, _Creede of old Montana, _by Stephen Bly. I could remember the first time i'd seen this novel after i turned Strigoi. As it's familiar cover art had greeted me I had gotten a headache. Had that been My conscience? Or just a coincidence? Trying to forget about it, I walked down the hallway to Rose's room. Hopefully she'd feel my presence and wake up.

I had no such luck. It took her about 5 hours to wake up. Her face had looked so peaceful in sleep. My conscience was envious. _It must be nice_ he thought bitterly _to be able to go to sleep, and not worry about your body running off and killing someone._ His words had been bitterly, but i knew that there was a part of him that worried for her. Worried i'd run off and kill _her_.

_You're right_ i told the voice sarcastically _ it would be nice if you slept._ If he had a face, he would've hit him to _make _ him sleep. Unfortunately, he didn't. _Are you sure? _He asked me _maybe you could punch a mirror?_ It was a pathetic joke. If it could be called that. But honestly, I was surprised he could muster up enough emotion for something like that. I certainly couldn't. Not right now._ Not really surprising. I'm not like you. _ He answered simply. He was becoming unbearable.

Who was he anyway, to criticise me. He got himself into this 'mess'. I could feel his agreement, but I could feel something else. He was trying to hide it _hell_ i thought to myself _he's been invading my privacy all day!_ I dove into the warm spot, searching. And i couldn't believe what I'd found. I couldn't comprehend it. It was the most confusing jumble of emotions i'd ever felt. Surely no one person could feel all of this at once, they'd explode.

With a resignated sigh, he started to list what he was feeling. _I feel guilty about leaving Rose to deal with you, sad because she actually did, scared because i don't know what is going to happen to me, scared shitless because i don't know whats going to happen to her, disappointed that I actually let this happen to me in the first place. And honestly, downright pissed, because your stuck in my head. _I couldn't really have imagined what all of that felt like, but i knew thanks to him.

Behind his explaination, I knew he was hiding something. As soon as he heard me think this I felt him jam a wall between us. It was similar to a brick wall though, easy to break down. He was _jealous_. Jealous I got to kiss her, jealous i'd have the chance to hold her, jealous I had the chance to be free. _In a manner of speaking_ he clarified _i don't think that being angry and blood obsessed is free, but you can live a little._ I had to laugh_. What did you expect would happen when you let Nathan bite you!_ I shot back. I felt the warmth in my head scream disgust at Nathan's name. At least we agreed on something. I turned to start reading, before he could start back up.

That was when Rose started stirring.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, climbing out of bed.

" Waiting for you to wake up." I answered as she walked over to the opposite side of the room to stand against the wall.

"Not so boring," i told her. "I had company." I said that part more to myself. Then I hastily held my book up, making it seem as though I was talking about my western, not the voice inside my head.

* * *

**I just looked up popular western novels and it came up with the **_**creede of old Montana. **_**To say i'm not into westerns is an understatement. Though I do enjoy imagining Dimitri in a cowboy outfit.**

**I know this isn't all depressed and angry strigoi Dimitri, but writing Dimka like that was making me depressed. So i've decided, for my mental well-being , he'll still be a bit of a bloodsucking creep, but a little less "i'm going to eat you know." :D:D**

**I did actually write him all stereotypically strigoi in this chapter. But it wasn't nearly as good or funny. I'll post it if you want me to.**

**R&R**

**xxx **


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